 |
 |
||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
|||||||||||
Latest |
Confronting conflict...pause to evaluate I have been reading this week (Monday 14 th January) in the newspapers about the tragic case of Mr Garry Newlove who was beaten up and kicked to death by three teenage thugs outside his house. This now seems to be the face of Modern Britain with ever increasing news coverage of stabbings, beatings and violence on our streets. Mr Newlove leaves behind a wife and children and they will have to live with their needless loss. The decent folk of the UK were rightly appalled and sickened by the savage and meaningless attack. They are also outraged that this type of incident is allowed to happen on our streets again and again. In my profession as a Self Protection/Personal Safety Instructor, I have many thoughts on the subject and on this particular incident. I would like to share these thoughts here in this article and hopefully it will prove thought provoking and also helpful. Firstly I feel the time has come to get the 'bobby' back on the beat, patrolling our neighbourhoods. A police presence needs to be felt on the streets and a zero tolerance policy put in place everywhere, not just major 'hot spots'. We can all have bans on knives, tighter measures to increase prison sentences for offenders but basically, we need to prevent random acts of violence happening in the first place. We need the police on the spot to stop any sign of trouble and to make thugs think twice about perpetrating violence. You have to ask yourself, if somebody was getting mugged or beaten up in your neighbourhood, what are the chances of a policeman walking around the corner and onto the scene? Take for example, the law enforced and increased for driving and talking on a mobile phone. There was a recent campaign on this in the newspapers and media but everyday driving; I spot a dozen or more people still doing it. Why? Because they weigh up their options and come to the conclusion that they are probably not going to be stopped by the police or see a police car in the traffic to pull them over. It's the same principle with thugs who roam the streets looking for trouble. They also know that it's highly unlikely that a policeman will happen upon them whilst they are dishing out a stabbing or beating. So they do it. It's time to bring some of our 'boys in blue' in off the motorway lay-bys and make our streets safe again. I must admit I did read about a heavy police presence on the streets this week in London. Indeed 25,000 police where gathered in force.....to demonstrate outside parliament for a pay rise! I have a few mates that are policemen and they will tell you their jobs are more paperwork than getting out on the streets, most want to be there. So the government needs to bring in more clerical staff and free the police up to do their job, patrol the streets and uphold the law. In the incident of Mr Newlove, he felt it necessary to go out and confront the three thugs because he believed they had thrown stones at his car. This sort of thing apparently had happened all too often in his neighbourhood and I presume that he had, had enough of it. So in a fit of anger he decided to do something about it and who can blame him. We have all been there one time or another. In my role as a Self Protection Instructor I can see the mistakes that were made that led to the tragic turn of events. From the newspaper reports, apparently Mr Newlove confronted the thugs in his bare feet and asked them if they damaged his car. He got a mouthful of abuse back. Mr Newlove allegedly said he would take each one of them if they wanted. One of the thugs then punched him down to the floor and they all kicked and stomped him to unconsciousness and ran off laughing. In my book, 'Bad to the bone, ' I wrote about this type of situation and provided some advice on what to do. Below is the extract from the book and it is provided here for information purposes only, I wrote this in 2001. It was uncanny how close it was to the incident I have been talking about.
"Look at this scenario as an example of taking just a few seconds to think how you need to play it. You wake up in the early hours of the morning and hear a noise outside. You look out of your bedroom window and see three youths around your car up to no good. In your anger and shock, you run downstairs and out the door to confront them. You yell out, 'What the hell are you doing!' These guys turn around with no fear or surprise on their faces and confront you. You notice two of them have knives. How intimidating are you stood bare footed in nothing but your 'boxers,' empty handed and above all, empty headed? As the youths approach you, you momentarily wonder if plucking a handful of 'daffs' from the front garden and throwing them at the advancing trio will help! You decide not to and turn to run back to the sanctuary of your house. That's when you notice that the front door has slammed shut with the wind! Not the best of strategies. A rush of blood to the head and now you find yourself in a worse position.
Let's rerun this scenario again. Whilst looking out of the bedroom window, open it and shout from there, 'Get away from that car or I'll call the police.' That should do the trick. If the group laugh and tell you where to go, then you have to decide if you wish to confront them. If you do make that decision, get some trousers and shoes on at least and then get an 'equaliser' in the way of a weapon. Something big, visual and frightening that gives the outright message, 'this hurts!' A baseball bat, samurai sword, or something along the same lines. This time when you confront them, let them know they are going to get one last warning and be demonstrative with the weapon so it leaves them in no doubt that they have picked the wrong person. Even if inside you don't intend to use the weapon at least your overall visual appearance looks better than you stood in your boxer shorts with a handful of daffodils.
Always give a warning first and give a person a chance to run or back off. If they mock this warning and get more aggressive and abusive you will have to go to Plan B and get tough. It must be convincing and you must be prepared to bring them right up to the cliff edge of violence and if necessary and finally, give them the push.
As always, try de-escalating and give them a loophole for escape but if they don't take this route then you will have to change tactics.
I have found myself in many a situation that has made me feel very uncomfortable. I have maybe been in a bus queue or actually riding public transport with my family when a group of youths are sharing the same space and are continually using foul language in the presence of my then young children. In these situations I feel the bubbling of adrenaline in the pit of my stomach and I hate the feeling every time it occurs. I just know that there is going to be confrontation.
Now if I had an opportunity to leave the facility then I would be saving my family or myself any grief, sometimes though, you can't and you just know that you are going to have to do something about the situation. I have learnt over the years from experience to pre plan your move and do not act on emotion." You can see if you react unemotionally, you will see things more clearly and be able to rationalise what needs to be done. Don't let the 'red mist' descend. As I stated in 'Bad to the bone' I have learnt from my mistakes over the years. I am not preaching here that I am perfect but I have worked hard to look at situations more clearly and not just rush in. Remember if you have to call the police, it is their job to sort this kind of thing out. Let them know that the incident is happening now and that if they don't hurry up you will be forced to deal with it (even if you have no intention of doing so.) I know what it's like when your adrenaline goes and you feel as the man of the family, you must do something. It is always ego driven and it's our programmed machismo that takes over. The rule should be unless I have absolutely no option left, I will then confront the problem. If I do, I will give myself enough time to weigh up my options and get it right. Even if you are a black belt 10 th Dan or a cage fighting champion, putting yourself in a potentially dangerous situation because you can fight, isn't a smart move. Today's cowardly thugs will not want a fist fight; they will want to blind side you and stab you instead. As they say, the grave yard is full of heroes. Think what means the most to you in the world. Is it your wife, kids, mother, father, or yourself? Then ask yourself. Are any of these people being hurt? If this is not the case anything else can wait. Self preservation must be first. A moment of madness may suddenly find you out of your depth and that is far too late. It's like the story of the dog that used to chase fire engines when they came down its street. One day the dog caught up with one and didn't know what to do with it! I remember once years back where I worked at the time, a young guy was breaking into a car across the road and a work colleague who was a sergeant in the TA ran out to confront him (it wasn't his car.) I ran out also to tell him to wait up a moment and think, but he was gone. He had gone into ' Rambo' mode! As he approached the car, the kid saw him and ran off. My work colleague set off after him. Now he was on a training regime daily of junk food, cigarettes, beer and caffeine so he wasn't in good shape. Ten minutes later he returning panting and puffing and sweating like a pig. When he eventually regained breath, he told me that he had lost the kid. He had been too fast for him. He confided that actually he was glad because if he had caught up with him he said he was so 'knackered' that he wouldn't have been able to do anything! A dangerous position to be in especially as the kid was still brandishing the screwdriver that he has been breaking into the car with! Again, it illustrates the lesson of reacting with your emotions rather than calculating the risk first. Yes there may be a time that you have to make a snap decision and if you choose to confront a situation you better be 100% equipped to deal with it otherwise another tragedy may be waiting to happen. Never underestimate anybody, regardless of age, sex or size. Presume that they could be dangerous. Think that they could be armed or fuelled on drink and drugs. Your age or social status will not mean a toss to them. Don't expect them to back down, especially in a gang as this would be seen as 'losing face' in their eyes. I am not suggesting that Mr Newlove or other victims like him deserved what they got. God forbid. Nobody in the civilised world deserves that. But I do personally feel that if he had taken a moment to think about what he was getting into he might well still be at home safe with his family. If you want to know more tactics and strategies to deal with conflict and confrontation, then check out my books 'Bad to the bone' and 'In the face of violence.' Also look for more related articles here on my website: www.kevinohagan.com
|
|---|
